Posted on Thursday, August 6th 2009, 5:00 pm by Marc Sax

Funny as it seems, this article makes it seem a lot easier than it is.  I would have to see how good the girls that go into a bar looking for a one-night stand every night are.  But Hey! When it comes down to it… There is a freak for another freak!

Art of a One Night Stand

One of my single girlfriends keeps her sex life fresh with a steady Friday night routine: On her way home she detours to a hipster bar near her apartment to scout potential partners for a good old-fashioned one-night stand. “I like sex before I go to sleep,” she shrugs. “It doesn’t take me long to find a guy who’s cute and willing. After flirting I’ll invite him back to my place for a drink. We’re usually going at it before I’ve uncorked the wine.” Sometimes she doesn’t even bother asking his name. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now,” she says. “I just want to get laid.”

Sound too good to be true? It’s not. While most girls used to be ashamed of indulging in a one-night stand, these days more and more women occasionally enjoy uncomplicated sex with a veritable stranger. In a 2008 study published in the journal Human Nature, 54 percent of women reported that they felt good after a one-night stand. But just because women are more casual than ever about casual sex, that doesn’t mean you can grab the nearest girl and relieve her 
of her pants employing nothing more than monosyllabic grunts and some hand signals. There is an art to the one-night stand, and a misstep at any point could derail the whole endeavor. To illuminate these pitfalls—and devise a no-fail one-night-stand plan—I spoke with women who’ve been happily whammed, bammed, and thank-you-ma’amed. Follow the tips I’ve collected and a parade of successful one-night-only encounters will be yours.

Choose Your Target

It’s nearly impossible to tell simply by looking at her whether a woman is on the prowl for no-strings-attached sex, but if she’s alone at a bar after midnight on a Tuesday, chances are she’s not there for the rockin’ jukebox. Another clue? Body art. A 2006 study at Hanover College in 
Indiana suggested a significant correlation between women with piercings or tattoos and the likelihood that they’re into one-night stands. The most important cues a woman will offer, however, are behavioral, so train yourself to be a careful observer.

According to body language expert Patti Wood, author of Success Signals, humans in conversation tend to fix their gaze on the eyes, nose, and mouth. But if a woman is sexually attracted to you, her eyes will dart to your lower torso area. Yes—your crotch. Also, check her posture. “When a woman is sexually attracted to a man, she will position her heart toward him,” Wood says. Does she have her arms crossed over her breasts? Then she’s protecting them—and herself—from being your prey. If she is looking to get laid, the first thing she’ll do is touch you. “If I’m into a guy I’ve just met and I’m thinking about fucking him, I’m not too subtle with physical affection,” says Nina*, a 27-year-old product manager. “I’ll swat at him when I’m laughing or sit super close until my thigh is touching his.” She’ll also be receptive to your touch. Jenny, a 30-year-old graphic designer, says her best one-night stand was with a guy she met while on vacation in Jamaica who knew how to use his hands: “A bunch of us were singing around a piano in the hotel bar, and he kept putting his hand on my thigh…a little higher and more on the inside each time. When he was two inches from my pussy, I got so horny for him that I dragged him back to my room.”

Seal the Deal

If you’ve passed the touch test and you’re ready to move back to your place, it sometimes helps to offer a girl a fake “reason” to join you so she’ll be less inclined to freak out over the real purpose of the visit. Think of something cool at your house that will impress her—artwork, Wii tennis, a puppy—and invite her over to see it. Sure, you both know it’s a gimmick, but it works.

“I met a guy at a party a few weeks ago, and he suggested we go back to his place and drink wine on his balcony, which overlooked the city,” says Nicole, a 23-year-old bartender. “I thoroughly enjoyed the view…while we did it standing up on that balcony.” Keep in mind, however, that if you’re going to persuade her to come over, the reason should hold up. “Last week this guy I met at a bar lured me back to his apartment for a game of pool on his new table,” says Missy, a 29-year-old stylist. “It turned out to be one of those desktop mini pocket tables you order from the SkyMall catalog! I started laughing so hard I totally lost the mood and went home.”

Set the Tone

While you should never preface a hookup with a douchey line like, “Yo, so you know this is a one-time thing, right?” you can actually benefit from letting the woman know you’re not looking for anything serious. Katherine Bogle, author of Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus, says, “In my research women said they were always willing to do more sexually if they knew in advance the encounter was not going to end in a relationship.”

Clara, a 30-year-old copy editor, can back up the theory: “I once went home with a guy I’d just met. While we were fooling around, he simply said, ‘I really want to fuck you, but I don’t want to be in a relationship.’ I told him I felt the exact same way. Then we went at it.” Just remember while being up-front about your (non-) intentions to keep things light and fun. There’s no need to have a “talk.” “I was in the middle of making out with this guy I met at a concert when he started to mumble that he hoped hooking up wouldn’t make things weird,” says Jenna, a 28-year-old sales assistant. “When I asked him why it would, he said he’d just ended a relationship and that he might get back together with her and couldn’t promise this would lead to anything. Like I was going to fall in love with him just because we were boning? I ended up kicking him out because it was so insulting.”

Get Your Freak On

Be sure to maintain the proper tone in bed. A one-night stand is about hot animal sex, not hours of butterfly kisses in candlelight. Start “making love” instead of screwing and you may send a dangerous (read: boyfriendy) message.

Chances are, however, she wants the sex to be just as down-and-dirty as you do. Alison, a 24-year-old hairdresser, says the kinkiest she ever got was with a one-night stand she took home from a party. “He was smacking my ass and tugging on my ponytail,” she says. “Then he started calling me his ‘dirty little slut,’ which I’d never accept from a boyfriend. But with this dude I’d never see again, it was hot.”

Just don’t veer onto the disturbing side of the kink spectrum. Marisa, a 28-year-old Web editor, had some issues with a one-nighter she met after a rooftop party. “There are certain things I don’t do on the first roll in the hay,” she says. “At one point this guy shoved his butt at me, like, ‘Go to town!’ One-night stands, I’m all for. One-night rim jobs, not so much.”

If you want to be memorable in a good way, make sure the woman gets off—after all, that’s why she’s doing this in the first place. Lara, a 27-year-old publicist, met the model one-night-stander when he asked her for directions on the street. “We ended up walking to my place instead and stayed up until dawn fucking,” she says. “He refused to come until I had and at one point even asked if he could use a vibrator on me. He was pretty unforgettable.”

Exit Gracefully

We know the main thing on a guy’s mind after a one-night stand is, When can I bust out of here? But the lamest thing you can do is pull the old Irish slip on a woman after she’s let you into her pot of gold. That means no ducking out the front door while pretending to get a drink, or even while she’s still sleeping. Seriously.

Then again, don’t stay too long. Claudia, a 26-year-old pastry chef, tells the cautionary tale of an awesome one-night stand who turned into a nightmare morning lingerer. “We snuggled a bit in the morning, which was nice,” she says. “But as we got up I expected him to leave. He proceeded to put on football and lounge on my couch in his boxers. After an hour of having my new fake boyfriend around, I was like, This dude has to go. I had to ask him to leave.”

Another morning-after mistake: an artificially affectionate send-off. According to Bogle, women said they hated it when guys kissed them goodbye on the lips and said things like “Call you later” when they didn’t mean it. The ideal move? Leave your contact info—it saves us from feeling hurt when you don’t call and lets us feel like we have power over the situation. And the chances we’ll actually contact you are slim. “I’ve had a few one-night stands, but I’m certainly not calling the guy to ask him out,” says Isabel, a 26-year-old lawyer. “I know what’s what. We fucked 
already. Why would there be anything more?”


Tags: , , ,
Posted in NSFW | Comments (0)


Leave a Reply